My two worries in my recent jaw surgery were a) that the anesthesia would kill me, or b) that I would wake up during the surgery and then I would die of the pain.

I was pretty sure of b).

So when I was laying in my pre-op room visualizing ways to get the doctor's attention when I would wake up mid-surgery, I was pretty upset.

The thing is, things had gone really well up until this point. My doctors were great, the facility was brand new, and I got a nice surprise in having a very talkative and alert anesthesiologist (I had met someone else a few days earlier who I thought was the anesthesiologist. He didn't speak very clearly, and I'm not exactly sure he knew what I was saying. When I would ask a question like "will it be 'a' or 'b'", he would answer "yes").

And I'm sure the anesthesiologist understood when I started crying in front of him (after all, the details he was giving me were facts that I used to confirm I would never make it through surgery).

So really at this point any surgery fears were coming from my own worries and delusions.

Until this unidentified nurse(?) walked in. I'm not really sure what her position was because she never introduced herself. She may have been a nurse, a doctor, someone's mom or a janitor. I have no idea.

She walked over to me like she was my boss or something and started questioning me.

Lady with un-identified job description: Why are you having this surgery?
Me: Because I have to.
L: Are your braces staying on?
Me: Uhhh... (looking at nice-will-answer-my-questions-properly anesthesiologist for support)
Anesthesiologist: Oh yes (and gives a short explanation).

I was scared of dying and was super annoyed that this lady wanted me to explain my detailed reasons and back story for needing this surgery 20 minutes before I was about to go under.

In what appeared to be her continuous mission to torture me, she went by the door, facing me, and started talking to the anesthesiologist about me as if I wasn't there. I could tell the anesthesiologist didn't feel comfortable doing so.

Lady with un-identified job description: How long is the surgery?
Anesthesiologist: (being quiet) oh, we have six hours scheduled.
L: (Opens eyes really big and looks at me worriedly as to say "you will never survive that").
L: What tube are you sticking down her throat and are you using nose or mouth?
A: (trying to make light... for my sake I'm sure) Oh, you know, etc. etc.
L: Are you going to wrap her arms and tie them back?
WHAT??????? Why are you going to tie my arms back??? How am I supposed to alert you when I wake up in surgery??? GET OUT OF HERE!!! I COULD DIE (probably not) LADY AND I DON'T WANT THE LAST FACE I SEE TO BE YOURS!!!

The anesthesiologist wrapped up the conversation (after quietly saying that yes, they were going to tie my arms back. Great). He apologized to me and I pretended like I hadn't even noticed. As visions of tubes in my face and my arms tied back go through my head, another nice doctor came in and took my blood, straight-forwardly saying it was "in case they needed to save my life". Great! The cherry on the top of this pre-op conversation! Thank you!

The next thing I know the very-nice-and-trying-not-to-talk-about-tieing-my-arms-back-in-front-of-me anesthesiologist was giving me "something to make me relax" and then I remember being wheeled into another room. And then I woke up and it was over! Isn't anesthesia amazing???

I remember a really nice lady telling me that they only had to do my bottom jaw (they were supposed to do top and bottom, but when the surgeons got in there, they found that only the bottom one was necessary, a huge blessing. That also made the surgery only 3 hours and 45 minutes, yay!).

I'm pretty sure the nurse in the recovery room had plans and didn't want me to stay too long, because she was like "the goal is to get you out of here in an hour".

You're going to miss your date lady, because I'll spitting up blood for the next three hours (totally normal).

The recovery room also provided my mom and Justin with horrified looks, as they helped me spit out blood and helped me try and not throw up because I was afraid of choking (my mouth was rubber banded shut). Fun! At the time, I'm sure because of all the anesthesia, it didn't really seem like a big deal, but thinking back I cannot believe I did all that.

I was provided with my own horrified look when I accidentally saw myself in the mirror right after surgery. I looked like Mike Myers Scottish character in "Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me". Eeesh.

Random lady with no job description and trying-to-get-me-out-of-there nurse aside, I had really great care there. I loved the hospital and all of my doctors, and I'm so thankful for this entire process so far. Thanks for all of the prayers, I was really blessed with an amazing surgery and an incredibly smooth recovery so far. And thanks for all of the calls and texts!!! And a HUGE thanks to my mom, who flew back to MI today, who was out here for three and a half weeks helping me recover!!!

Most of the swelling has gone down, and I still have to have the splint (this plastic mouth guard) in for four more weeks. I can open my mouth a little now, and have a diet of Nutella and peanut butter shakes, and mashed potatoes. Which are both awesome.

Yay surgery!!!